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How they wrote (and rewrote) their Harvard admissions essays – Harvard Gazette
Sign in. The following is an essay that got into Harvard University. Read this essay very carefully and analyze it yourself about the writing structure, storytelling and use of words. This will certainly help you in many ways. However, remember these essays are strictly for reference only.
Any form of copying or imitation is considered plagiarism and hence severely punished by admission officers. This essay is very popular and has been around for a very long time. Therefore, the admission officers are VERY familiar with them. Again, do NOT copy or imitate anything from these essays if you want to succeed. Its main substance was something like this: he would say, oh no, I seem to be lost; how shall we get home?
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And then he would ask, which way? Gleefully, I would crane my neck above the seat; according to the game, his befuddlement was hopeless, and I alone as navigator could bring us home. No doubt I seemed contrary as I directed him further and further down back streets, but my secret incentive was exploration. My heart would beat below my throat as I gave the direction to turn, stretching my neck from my place in the backseat, eager and afraid: suppose I did really get us lost?
The secret desire to discover always won out over the fear, but I can still recall the flutter of my heart on the inside of my ribs as I navigated the roundabout connections which was as mysterious as the Northwest Passage, lone link between the cul-de-sacs. Find University that Best Fits You! It was not that I had nothing to say about this community; a year's observation gave me more than enough material.
I knew I wanted to direct people's attention to the issue of inclusion, telling them how grueling my first few months were as a newcomer, and encouraging them to open up their worlds for the next new kid on campus. But I had a huge concern — the topic was so drenched with personal feelings that it might come off as a cacophonous accusation, one of those I-was-struggling-but-no-one-cared complaints.
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I did have a difficult time at the beginning, but it was nobody's fault. I would hate to see my friends take upon themselves for the institutionalized indifference; I would hate to see them suffer. I could always turn to safer and easier topics - talk about Texan stereotypes, for instance. Such analysis from the standpoint of a foreign student would definitely bring sensational amusement. A love letter to football would work as well; everyone loves football here in Austin. I gave both topics a try, but the more I wrote, the more I felt the urge to go back to the discussion over inclusion.
Never shall I let myself choose what is safe over what is important.
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I had to be audacious in the face of such a decision, even if it meant coming across as reckless to the entire school. In my speech, I poured my heart out. I talked about the agony of being left alone on campus in September, the joy of being surprisingly coronated homecoming prince that same month, and most importantly, the profound confusion in between. I said I really wondered why a community as friendly as St.
Andrew's could make a person feel so isolated at one point. I proposed that we make a difference together and make our friendliness more explicit.
Essays that got accepted into harvard
After all, no one should feel deserted. The speech was a success.
Compliments and applause and hugs enveloped me, but those were not my biggest takeaways. What defined this experience was the risk I took in hope of prompting a positive change. It felt great because I was brave. In another essay question, UC Berkeley provided students with space to respond to a more open-ended question. By specifically including the words "beyond what has already been shared in your application," this essay asks the student to write more personally about themselves.
Questions framed like this allow students the ability to describe a part of themselves that might not be fully captured by the typical dehumanizing application process.
UC Berkeley electrical engineering, computer science, and economics sophomore Fuzail Shakir decided to tell a brief, but honest essay questioning what it means to be part of a community. I look around at my room, dimly lit by a yellow light. On the table in the corner, buried under a jumble of physics textbooks and notes, was a picture of a beaming Indian family of four standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Tacked up on the board were an array of pamphlets from American colleges.
On the opposite wall was a poster of Muhammad Ali standing over a knocked-out Sonny Liston after the infamous "anchor punch," the crowd stunned to silence. My mom shouted something incoherent, followed by a quick translation into English. Yes, I am an Indian who does not know Hindi. What else would you expect? I have lived my whole life in Saudi Arabia, visited more cities in the USA than India, and have studied in an American school, surrounded by American teachers and American friends.
A few years ago, I would have said none. And yet, standing in line for Saudi customs in the "Foreign Passports" section was puzzling. I felt out of place. Deep down, I feared being stuck with that label, carrying it around wherever I went: "Foreigner". Today I still answer, none. I choose not to be defined by where I live or what passport I have or what language I speak. I choose to embrace the ambiguity as who I am. Take a look at my room.